Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Newlywed Problems

Common Newlywed Problems, and how to fix them.

Defining roles: prior to marriage they may each assume that the other will take certain roles (breadwinner, bill payer, housecleaner, nurse, mechanic, etc.) but probably they either didn't discuss or they were being over idealistic.
Fix: Sit down to review household roles, negotiate, focus first how YOU can help, not on how your partner is letting you down!

Money: If families don't define their core values, they'll end up spending money on just about anything they want at the moment. Then, they'll blame the spouse for the lack of dough to pay the bills.
Solution: define your values; what matters in the house? Vacations, entertainment, spirituality, etc. Once you do that, you can better know how to budget your money.

New child in house: Most couples think this will draw them closer together, but often it becomes a source of friction because a baby is like a Rorschach test--each parent think he/she knows what's best for him. Usually the mother's anxiety will guide the level at which the husband is "permitted" to participate to raise children.
Solution: Hold off on having children if possible at least until you get some of the other issues worked on. Assume your partner always has your child's best interest in mind, rather than assume your way is the best way. If disagreements arise, agree to talk about them when you are not fuming at each other, but at times when you can quietly discuss them

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