Gender Differences? News from the 2011 APA

I recently completed a series of lectures in Honolulu. One, entitled “Gender-specific Neurobiological, Behavioral and Social Influence on Human Development: Implications for Heterosexual Relationships and Couples' Therapy” was given to a packed room of psychiatrists (many of them were residents in training). In fact, after the talk began, several people who came late had left because there were no seats available. Bummer!

I told the audience before I spoke to them that I was a bit trepidatious about giving a talk on such a controversial subject in such a high-profile forum as the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. Yet, surprisingly, I got very little resistance from those who attended the meeting on the idea that there may be some fundamental difference between how men’s and women’s brains function.

Heretofore, I had been a strong believer in gender differences, propelled by the research of Simon Baron-Cohen, who describes “The Essential Difference” between men’s brains (tending toward systemization) and women’s brains (tending toward empathy). In contrast, “Delusions of Gender” by Cordelia Fine, pulls no punches in pointing to the bias in research by people like Baron-Cohen. For instance, the highly touted research that baby boys prefer geometric objects, and baby girls prefer faces is based on an unblended study of children held at different angles by their mothers, not in some laboratory with special eye-movement detection data (as I had always assumed). Also, by simply identifing your sex before taking a preference exam, you’ll tend to give more gender-stereotyped profile of yourself. Interesting!

Yet my audience didn’t seem swayed by the controversy; it seemed obvious to them that there are qualitative differences between men and women. Maybe it is based on socialization or gender messages from others, one participant noted, but those environmental exposures (just like the environmental exposure in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) cause permanent brain changes, and we cannot ignore the reality that, by the time the average man or average woman is in the psychiatrist’s office, he or she will view the world differently because of their sex.

In the eyes of the psychiatrists who attended that meeting, that means that it’s OK to advise your male clients, “Don’t jump in and believe you have to fix things when your wife describes a problem,” and to tell your women clients, “Make sure you get to the point early when wanting help solving a problem, otherwise you’ll lose his attention and get frustrated that he isn’t listening!”

Vim and Sexual Vigor

Q: How/why does fatigue or lack of fitness diminish a man's sex drive? What can the average guy to boost his libido?

A: Like the Timex watch, men are designed to have their bodies take a licking, but have their libido keep on ticking. However, at a certain point, physical or mental exhaustion will lowers a guy’s reproductive urges. That is because the body tries to conserve resources; from a evolutionary point of view, a species shuts down reproduction when there isn’t enough energy to sustain the body. For instance, in concentration or POW camps, with lack of food and other deprivation, the sex drive disappears, while in US prisons, with plenty of food and leisure time, there is no decline in sex drive. While men’s sex drive tend to be on autonomous (that is, not driven by external conditions), it still affected by a man’s state of mind. Depression or mental exhaustion rob a man of being able to make a visual picture of the pleasure that sex may give him, so he will be less inclined to have sexual urges pop into his head. Occasionally, poor physical health may include lack of proper nutrition, and occasionally vitamin or mineral deficiencies lead to lack of libido. (Just about every vitamin is implicated in the cascade of hormones and physiology associated with sexual functioning.)
There are ways of countering the effects of stress. One is to schedule time for exercise daily, which helps to boost testosterone. Another is to put aside time to meditate, pray, or do yoga. These decrease emotional stress and improve relaxation, an important component for interest in sex.
Also, because sex may not be as autonomous in the stressed out guy, there may need to be external triggers to get thing going. Reducing tension in the relationship with your mate is helpful—an angry or despondent partner isn’t a sexual turn on. Also, your partner may need to take the lead an initiate sex; that may be a role reversal, but it can often lead to an increase in sexual interest.