How important is it to a man that his wife (or future wife) let him have his "guy time"?
Guy time is extremely valuable for a married man, but it’s not a right, it’s a privilege. By that I mean that men often assume that once they get married, they can pick up where they left off with their guy friends, anything from weekend golf to frequenting strip clubs.
Women want to know, first and foremost, that they are a priority. If he makes sure that she feels valued, then he can next begin to ask for what he needs, but not if she thinks that it’s her expense.
And what role does a woman play in this arrangement? She 1) should agree to listen to her husbands ideas for guy time without judgment, 2) should not choose for him what he does or whom it does it with [big caveat here—if it involves single guys picking up women, or using drugs or alcohol, then it’s fair game for a wife to say “no”] 3) should agree specifically what the activity will and how long it will last, 4) agree how and when to “check in,” and not randomly call and text 5) help her husband succeed at getting it right—work with him to set his cell phone alarm for when he turns into a pumpkin and then 6) greet him warmly when he comes home.
Try adding a little guy time to a husband's marriage. It will benefit both of you!
About Me
- Dr Haltzman
- Dr Scott is board certified in Psychiatry and is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a graduate of Brown University and received his medical degree from the Brown Medical School. He completed residency at Yale University. He served as Clinical Assistant Professor at Brown University from 1990-2010, and now serves as a staff psychiatrist at the David Lawrence Center in Naples, Florida. Dr. Haltzman has gained international recognition for his work in support of marriage and committed relationships. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Good Morning America, and in TIME Magazine, Glamour, Redbook, Parent's Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune and local and national radio, TV and print. He co-authored the chapter, "Men, Marriage and Divorce" in the American Psychiatric Press book: Men and Mental Health. He is an internationally recognized speaker. Dr. Haltzman is the founder and editor of DrScott.com and author of three books: The Secrets of Happily Married Men, The Secrets of Happily Married Women and The Secrets of Happy Families.
1 comment:
Love this post, especially about guy time being a privilege. If only more people looked at their relationships this way--making requests not demands and being aware of how their actions affect their relationships. Thanks.
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