What are the eight strategies to fuel connection and contentment?
Stick Together—Know your core values and work together to set a course for happiness that includes everyone in the home.
Commit and Communicate—Children feel more secure when they know that parents are committed to stay together. Using good communication seals the deal!
Lean—You don't have to do it all on your own. Reaching out to others makes you and your family sturdier and steadier.
Teach to and Learn from Children—Parenting takes patience, but while you're teaching your children, they're teaching you!
Blend—Grouping and regrouping with step-, adopted, and foster families isn't always smooth, but the process can enrich everyone involved.
Handle Conflict—Knowing how to master conflict can lead to a more cohesive family.
Bounce—Healthy families know how to rebound from adversity and grow stronger in the process.
Breathe—Making time for fun, adventure, and rituals sets the stage for a loving family over a lifetime.
What's the key tool to use to put your principles into practice? Can anyone do it?
It may be more difficult than for some people than others to put these principles into practice because, in fact, some people may not have had a good model for their own childhood. My belief is that it comes more naturally when you yourself have grown up and nurturing environment. Part of the point of this book is to help foster that kind of environment for every child in every home. It takes patience, and the ability to delay gratification, as well as a necessity to make some compromises. Moreover, it's simply not that easy to raise a child, and having children will frequently increase the amount of tension between two adults. Growing your family in the direction of a contented and connected clan does take work, but over the long run the quality of your life and the quality of your children's lives will improve.
What's the key to handling conflict and handling every day crisis?
Times of conflict are often about power struggles, with each party struggling to be the one whose voice is heard loudest. The most important element to solving conflict is the ability to listen to the other party. Just by the act of listening you are reducing that person’s need to fight to make his or her feelings known. When he or she feels heard, he or she becomes much more receptive to your point of view. The ability to listen, reflect back to the person in a non-judgment way, show willingness to learn new information, and treating the person whom you’re interacting respectfully all lead to less conflict and a better sense of shared purpose.
Best piece of advice you can offer parents...
You're in charge!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Issues in family happiness (Part I)
What is happening with families today and how is the nature of families is changing?
One of the changes of greatest impact that is happening in our society and in families today has to do with the migration of families away from their communities of origin, and the sense of estrangement and alienation that people are having from others within new communities.
What is the ultimate secret to a happy successful family? Why is this so important?The ultimate secret to a happy and successful family is the capacity to understand the core values that define that family, and live according to those values and beliefs. Consider the saying "ask yourself not: ‘Am I doing things right’ but ‘am I do in the right thing.’” Knowing the general direction that you are going, and how that integrates with your relationship with the family and the community that you live in, is essential to maintaining balance and your life.
Why is this information important at this time of uncertainty?
We are flooded by the media and inundated by a vast information overload, all of which asks us to constantly shift and change our behaviors in order to achieve happiness. But happiness doesn't come from having more channels on your cable television or more layers on your burrito. It comes from behaving in a way that honors your real self, and gives you a sense of purpose in the community.
How does financial, personal stress impact families, especially kids?
Difficult financial times and personal stress can be extremely difficult for families, by my study suggests that, rather than destroy families and tear them apart, such tumultuous times can actually lead to an improvement in family cohesion, because, at the very least, it removes many of the artificial "fillers" that distract you from your core values,
What are the benefits of a happy family?
Happy families benefit by feeling the support of their family members. They have a better sense of the bigger picture, and are less likely to be selfish. During difficult financial times they're more likely to have the support of other family members who are not hard hit by bad economic times. There able to experience more joy by being together, and better able to deal with conflict outside of the family because of their ability to deal with it inside the family.
One of the changes of greatest impact that is happening in our society and in families today has to do with the migration of families away from their communities of origin, and the sense of estrangement and alienation that people are having from others within new communities.
What is the ultimate secret to a happy successful family? Why is this so important?The ultimate secret to a happy and successful family is the capacity to understand the core values that define that family, and live according to those values and beliefs. Consider the saying "ask yourself not: ‘Am I doing things right’ but ‘am I do in the right thing.’” Knowing the general direction that you are going, and how that integrates with your relationship with the family and the community that you live in, is essential to maintaining balance and your life.
Why is this information important at this time of uncertainty?
We are flooded by the media and inundated by a vast information overload, all of which asks us to constantly shift and change our behaviors in order to achieve happiness. But happiness doesn't come from having more channels on your cable television or more layers on your burrito. It comes from behaving in a way that honors your real self, and gives you a sense of purpose in the community.
How does financial, personal stress impact families, especially kids?
Difficult financial times and personal stress can be extremely difficult for families, by my study suggests that, rather than destroy families and tear them apart, such tumultuous times can actually lead to an improvement in family cohesion, because, at the very least, it removes many of the artificial "fillers" that distract you from your core values,
What are the benefits of a happy family?
Happy families benefit by feeling the support of their family members. They have a better sense of the bigger picture, and are less likely to be selfish. During difficult financial times they're more likely to have the support of other family members who are not hard hit by bad economic times. There able to experience more joy by being together, and better able to deal with conflict outside of the family because of their ability to deal with it inside the family.
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