Issues in family happiness (Part II)

What are the eight strategies to fuel connection and contentment?

Stick Together—Know your core values and work together to set a course for happiness that includes everyone in the home.
Commit and Communicate—Children feel more secure when they know that parents are committed to stay together. Using good communication seals the deal!
Lean—You don't have to do it all on your own. Reaching out to others makes you and your family sturdier and steadier.
Teach to and Learn from Children—Parenting takes patience, but while you're teaching your children, they're teaching you!
Blend—Grouping and regrouping with step-, adopted, and foster families isn't always smooth, but the process can enrich everyone involved.
Handle Conflict—Knowing how to master conflict can lead to a more cohesive family.
Bounce—Healthy families know how to rebound from adversity and grow stronger in the process.
Breathe—Making time for fun, adventure, and rituals sets the stage for a loving family over a lifetime.



What's the key tool to use to put your principles into practice? Can anyone do it?

It may be more difficult than for some people than others to put these principles into practice because, in fact, some people may not have had a good model for their own childhood. My belief is that it comes more naturally when you yourself have grown up and nurturing environment. Part of the point of this book is to help foster that kind of environment for every child in every home. It takes patience, and the ability to delay gratification, as well as a necessity to make some compromises. Moreover, it's simply not that easy to raise a child, and having children will frequently increase the amount of tension between two adults. Growing your family in the direction of a contented and connected clan does take work, but over the long run the quality of your life and the quality of your children's lives will improve.

What's the key to handling conflict and handling every day crisis?

Times of conflict are often about power struggles, with each party struggling to be the one whose voice is heard loudest. The most important element to solving conflict is the ability to listen to the other party. Just by the act of listening you are reducing that person’s need to fight to make his or her feelings known. When he or she feels heard, he or she becomes much more receptive to your point of view. The ability to listen, reflect back to the person in a non-judgment way, show willingness to learn new information, and treating the person whom you’re interacting respectfully all lead to less conflict and a better sense of shared purpose.

Best piece of advice you can offer parents...

You're in charge!