PSYCHIATRIST SEEKS ANSWER TO QUESTION:
Dr. Scott Haltzman, Brown University Psychiatrist And Author Seeks To Learn What the Average Man Would Do.
PROVIDENCE, RI – January 10, 2007 Brown University Psychiatrist and author, Dr. Scott Haltzman, has been researching relationships between husbands and wife for years. Now the author of the best-selling "The Secrets of Happily Married Men" has a different line of questioning.
Do happily married men want sex outside of marriage?
On an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Larry David’s wife gives him a “gift” of being able to have one-time sex with someone outside of the marriage. Do men want this?
That’s what Dr. Haltzman wants to know, and he’s asking married men from around the world to answer: If your wife gave you a present of a single night’s sex outside of marriage, without any negative consequences, would you take it?
Men can answer anonymously answer by going to: DrScott.com and clicking on the "ONE NIGHT STAND SURVEY" button. (The direct link is http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/infidelity_survey.html )
Dr. Haltzman has been advising men and women on how to have happy marriages for over a decade. He is available to talk on your radio show about issues on marriage, infidelity, and whether, and how, men and women can stay together for life despite their differences. He states: “Everyone hears that the solution to marital problems lies in communication, sharing feelings, and spending time together. But it’s rare you hear a marriage expert: ‘Have lots of sex!’” Dr. Haltzman finds that having good sexual relationships is as important as a good conversation, and it can be a lot more fun! “Sex is an important part of bonding emotionally,” says Haltzman, “and if you don’t get sex from your partner, where else ARE you going to get it?”
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Soldier Suicides and Love
A May 30, 2008, an AP Article (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/MILITARY_SUICIDES?SITE=DCTMS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-02-13-12-14-25) examined the startling fact that suicide rates among soldiers have increased to the military’s highest ever: a total of 115 in 2007. About one third killed themselves on the battlefield, but 26 percent had never been to war. Male soldiers committed 96 percent of these suicides.
It may seem unusual to discuss battlefield deaths in a blog that focuses on relationships and families, except for one dramatic finding. To quote the AP article: Fifty percent of soldiers who killed themselves had recently suffered a failed relationship with a spouse, girlfriend or other loved one.
Scary, isn’t it, that, in the face of life or death challenges of the military, or soldiers are dying from the effects of relationship problems? And, by the way, these are not men who have had a history of mental instability (at least not as far as anyone knew).
There are profound implications by these findings, first and foremost is the need for psychological resources for our soldiers. But there are more subtle considerations here that should be addressed. For all the women in the world (many of them have sat across from me in my office) who say, “My man can never express his feeling,” or “He’s just an emotional blank slate,” this startling finding of suicide among these young men tell a different story. Men do have feelings; sometimes they are so strong they can’t be described in words. Sadly, many of these young men expressed their feelings with the trigger of a gun aimed at themselves.
These findings also reinforce a strong belief on my part that men feel incapable of solving relationship problems because they are not taught skills to heal difficulties with their lovers. They can take apart and rebuild a rifle in two minutes, but they stand helpless in the face of an unraveling marriage. I believe men have the capacity to learn relationship skills, and their lives are in danger if they do not. Women need to help foster men’s loving, caring, and committed side, so that they can work with their men to have the lifelong relationship they are seeking.
It may seem unusual to discuss battlefield deaths in a blog that focuses on relationships and families, except for one dramatic finding. To quote the AP article: Fifty percent of soldiers who killed themselves had recently suffered a failed relationship with a spouse, girlfriend or other loved one.
Scary, isn’t it, that, in the face of life or death challenges of the military, or soldiers are dying from the effects of relationship problems? And, by the way, these are not men who have had a history of mental instability (at least not as far as anyone knew).
There are profound implications by these findings, first and foremost is the need for psychological resources for our soldiers. But there are more subtle considerations here that should be addressed. For all the women in the world (many of them have sat across from me in my office) who say, “My man can never express his feeling,” or “He’s just an emotional blank slate,” this startling finding of suicide among these young men tell a different story. Men do have feelings; sometimes they are so strong they can’t be described in words. Sadly, many of these young men expressed their feelings with the trigger of a gun aimed at themselves.
These findings also reinforce a strong belief on my part that men feel incapable of solving relationship problems because they are not taught skills to heal difficulties with their lovers. They can take apart and rebuild a rifle in two minutes, but they stand helpless in the face of an unraveling marriage. I believe men have the capacity to learn relationship skills, and their lives are in danger if they do not. Women need to help foster men’s loving, caring, and committed side, so that they can work with their men to have the lifelong relationship they are seeking.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
“The Secrets of Happy Families”
It’s crunch time for my upcoming book, “The Secrets of Happy Families.” It's due to the publishers in about two months. Theresa Foy DiGeronimo and I have been examining the data so far from the “Happy Family Survey.” I have to say that so far the data have been quite revealing in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I can’t reveal the findings yet, because I don’t want to affect the quality of the data that I have so far. But, if you haven’t had a chance to do the survey, and you’d like the chance to win a book, just go to:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=PiKKDrBVn9q_2fLaqiAN0ztA_3d_3d
The whole survey takes about five minutes, and your information is very important to me.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=PiKKDrBVn9q_2fLaqiAN0ztA_3d_3d
The whole survey takes about five minutes, and your information is very important to me.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A weekend at Woodloch
Over the past weekend I had an opportunity to do two presentations at “The Lodge at Woodloch,” a world-class spa hidden in the hills of Pennsylvania’s Pocono territory. This was really the first chance I had to get away with my wife in about two years. The experience was thoroughly relaxing. Susan and I enjoyed being together.
In my first talk, I addressed the “Secrets of Happily Married Men,” to an audience of men and women. I talked about the shift we men often make from courtship (you know…singing serenades outside your intended’s window, showing up at her doorstep with flowers in your hand and a smile on your face) to conquering the world (where you focus on making your mark in the workplace and securing a safe home for your family—maybe even putting a few dollars away for the kids’ college). The problem with this transition is that women feel like we’ve forgotten them! We haven’t of course; often men see their focus on earning a living as the ultimate in romantic gestures—the problem is that their wives often miss that intent. The lesson for men is: continue to court in ways that are meaningful for your wife. Occasionally, that includes serenades and sunflowers.
In my second talk, called “The Secrets of Happily Married Women,” I also spoke to couples. I felt like a mouthpiece for men in this talk, for as I’d tell women how deeply men love them, or how men feel tongue-tied in how they communicate their love, or how men want to make their wives happy, I saw knowing nods from men all around the room! A few even elbowed their wives as if to say, “That’s so true!” (Note to men: not a good idea to elbow your wife under any circumstances; they don’t like the sharp angles of flying joints!) We went over few tips to women on how to figure out how your guy functions. Most importantly, if you figure out what makes him tick and roll with it, try not to fight it, he’ll feel more like your go-to-guy. And when a man feels competent, he wants to do more and more for you.
My recommendation: Go to the The Lodge at Woodloch—it will be a good way to pamper your marriage, and yourself. Maybe you’ll catch me giving a talk there!
In my first talk, I addressed the “Secrets of Happily Married Men,” to an audience of men and women. I talked about the shift we men often make from courtship (you know…singing serenades outside your intended’s window, showing up at her doorstep with flowers in your hand and a smile on your face) to conquering the world (where you focus on making your mark in the workplace and securing a safe home for your family—maybe even putting a few dollars away for the kids’ college). The problem with this transition is that women feel like we’ve forgotten them! We haven’t of course; often men see their focus on earning a living as the ultimate in romantic gestures—the problem is that their wives often miss that intent. The lesson for men is: continue to court in ways that are meaningful for your wife. Occasionally, that includes serenades and sunflowers.
In my second talk, called “The Secrets of Happily Married Women,” I also spoke to couples. I felt like a mouthpiece for men in this talk, for as I’d tell women how deeply men love them, or how men feel tongue-tied in how they communicate their love, or how men want to make their wives happy, I saw knowing nods from men all around the room! A few even elbowed their wives as if to say, “That’s so true!” (Note to men: not a good idea to elbow your wife under any circumstances; they don’t like the sharp angles of flying joints!) We went over few tips to women on how to figure out how your guy functions. Most importantly, if you figure out what makes him tick and roll with it, try not to fight it, he’ll feel more like your go-to-guy. And when a man feels competent, he wants to do more and more for you.
My recommendation: Go to the The Lodge at Woodloch—it will be a good way to pamper your marriage, and yourself. Maybe you’ll catch me giving a talk there!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Everybody’s Gotta Start Somewhere
I’m pleased to be an active member of the blogosphere, and hope that I’ll be able to make some contribution during my stay here in cyberuniverse.
Today, I’ll simply provide my bio. After that, an occasional musing.
Here’s what it says on my Website: www.DrScott.com
Scott Haltzman, M.D., is board certified in Psychiatry and is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a graduate of Brown University class of 1982, and received his medical degree from the Brown Medical School in 1985. He completed his psychiatric training and chief residency at Yale University, and then moved back to Rhode Island with his wife and children. He is currently a Clinical Assistant Professor at Brown University Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior and the Medical Director of NRI Community Services in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.
Dr. Haltzman has gained international recognition for his work in support of marriage and committed relationships. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Good Morning America, and in TIME Magazine, Glamour, Redbook, Parent's Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune and local and national radio, TV and print.
Dr. Haltzman is a member of the "Love Network" of Redbook magazine, and is an editorial consultant of Best Life. He co-authored the chapter, "Men, Marriage and Divorce" in the American Psychiatric Press book: Men and Mental Health. He is an internationally recognized speaker, presenting at the Annual Smart Marriages conference and at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. In 2007, he was honored by the Women's Resource Center of Newport & Bristol Counties (Rhode Island) as one of 19 "Men who Make a Difference."
Dr. Haltzman is the founder and editor of DrScott.com and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women. He is currently working on his third book, also with co-author Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, called The Secrets of Happy Families. You can contribute your own secrets by taking the “Happy Family Survey” at DrScott.com.
Today, I’ll simply provide my bio. After that, an occasional musing.
Here’s what it says on my Website: www.DrScott.com
Scott Haltzman, M.D., is board certified in Psychiatry and is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a graduate of Brown University class of 1982, and received his medical degree from the Brown Medical School in 1985. He completed his psychiatric training and chief residency at Yale University, and then moved back to Rhode Island with his wife and children. He is currently a Clinical Assistant Professor at Brown University Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior and the Medical Director of NRI Community Services in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.
Dr. Haltzman has gained international recognition for his work in support of marriage and committed relationships. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Good Morning America, and in TIME Magazine, Glamour, Redbook, Parent's Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune and local and national radio, TV and print.
Dr. Haltzman is a member of the "Love Network" of Redbook magazine, and is an editorial consultant of Best Life. He co-authored the chapter, "Men, Marriage and Divorce" in the American Psychiatric Press book: Men and Mental Health. He is an internationally recognized speaker, presenting at the Annual Smart Marriages conference and at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. In 2007, he was honored by the Women's Resource Center of Newport & Bristol Counties (Rhode Island) as one of 19 "Men who Make a Difference."
Dr. Haltzman is the founder and editor of DrScott.com and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women. He is currently working on his third book, also with co-author Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, called The Secrets of Happy Families. You can contribute your own secrets by taking the “Happy Family Survey” at DrScott.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
