I continue to manage my DrScott.com forum (Discussion group) (http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/phpBB2/) and am inspired by the men and women who are trying so intently to improve their relationships.
Here’re the words of Mike, one of the members of the forum:
“Well her two best friends are telling her that she should leave me and apparently have for several years.
“I have told her and tried to show my changes and she has told me to stop and back off because she won't change her mind or heart. I'm wasting my time pinning my hopes on a small sliver of hope she will see me as husband material again.
“As far as a boyfriend goes, she turned to my best friend for emotional support when I was vacant and unaware of how badly I was treating her. Then I found some conversations that were very inappropriate for a married woman to have with a single guy, they both say nothing has ever happened, but some times their closeness seems more.
“I have had some time to think about a few things since my last post and I have come to a few conclusions. I will continue to improve whether she wants it or not. She has said this is her time to get what she wants and I am willing to support her in everything she wants except this divorce. She is not willing to make many changes to save our marriage.
“Right now she can not support herself and either of the kids that would want to stay with her so she has asked me to stay; I am going to move past this divorce idea and treat the situation now as we are still married and continue to improve and when she is ready to stand on her own then cross that bridge when we get there.”
Relationships are so difficult, and with the high expectations of husbands and wives for a happy, meaningful, enriching, gratifying relationship, it’s a wonder that, once the honeymoon is over, any of us can ever be happy in marriage.
That’s why I emphasize the importance of putting your marriage first, and putting a premium on the happiness of your spouse. Yeah, divorce is an option when the relationship gets tough. And selling your kids to an adoption agency is an option when money gets tight…but I don’t see many people doing it! But too many people look to divorce rather than repair when they’re not getting what they want out of marriage.
Marriages can be great. And it begins with you. Check out the forum, and share your thoughts on the slings and cupid's arrows of your relationship.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
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