PSYCHIATRIST SEEKS ANSWER TO QUESTION:
Dr. Scott Haltzman, Brown University Psychiatrist And Author Seeks To Learn What the Average Man Would Do.
PROVIDENCE, RI – January 10, 2007 Brown University Psychiatrist and author, Dr. Scott Haltzman, has been researching relationships between husbands and wife for years. Now the author of the best-selling "The Secrets of Happily Married Men" has a different line of questioning.
Do happily married men want sex outside of marriage?
On an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Larry David’s wife gives him a “gift” of being able to have one-time sex with someone outside of the marriage. Do men want this?
That’s what Dr. Haltzman wants to know, and he’s asking married men from around the world to answer: If your wife gave you a present of a single night’s sex outside of marriage, without any negative consequences, would you take it?
Men can answer anonymously answer by going to: DrScott.com and clicking on the "ONE NIGHT STAND SURVEY" button. (The direct link is http://www.secretsofmarriedmen.com/infidelity_survey.html )
Dr. Haltzman has been advising men and women on how to have happy marriages for over a decade. He is available to talk on your radio show about issues on marriage, infidelity, and whether, and how, men and women can stay together for life despite their differences. He states: “Everyone hears that the solution to marital problems lies in communication, sharing feelings, and spending time together. But it’s rare you hear a marriage expert: ‘Have lots of sex!’” Dr. Haltzman finds that having good sexual relationships is as important as a good conversation, and it can be a lot more fun! “Sex is an important part of bonding emotionally,” says Haltzman, “and if you don’t get sex from your partner, where else ARE you going to get it?”
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Soldier Suicides and Love
A May 30, 2008, an AP Article (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/MILITARY_SUICIDES?SITE=DCTMS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-02-13-12-14-25) examined the startling fact that suicide rates among soldiers have increased to the military’s highest ever: a total of 115 in 2007. About one third killed themselves on the battlefield, but 26 percent had never been to war. Male soldiers committed 96 percent of these suicides.
It may seem unusual to discuss battlefield deaths in a blog that focuses on relationships and families, except for one dramatic finding. To quote the AP article: Fifty percent of soldiers who killed themselves had recently suffered a failed relationship with a spouse, girlfriend or other loved one.
Scary, isn’t it, that, in the face of life or death challenges of the military, or soldiers are dying from the effects of relationship problems? And, by the way, these are not men who have had a history of mental instability (at least not as far as anyone knew).
There are profound implications by these findings, first and foremost is the need for psychological resources for our soldiers. But there are more subtle considerations here that should be addressed. For all the women in the world (many of them have sat across from me in my office) who say, “My man can never express his feeling,” or “He’s just an emotional blank slate,” this startling finding of suicide among these young men tell a different story. Men do have feelings; sometimes they are so strong they can’t be described in words. Sadly, many of these young men expressed their feelings with the trigger of a gun aimed at themselves.
These findings also reinforce a strong belief on my part that men feel incapable of solving relationship problems because they are not taught skills to heal difficulties with their lovers. They can take apart and rebuild a rifle in two minutes, but they stand helpless in the face of an unraveling marriage. I believe men have the capacity to learn relationship skills, and their lives are in danger if they do not. Women need to help foster men’s loving, caring, and committed side, so that they can work with their men to have the lifelong relationship they are seeking.
It may seem unusual to discuss battlefield deaths in a blog that focuses on relationships and families, except for one dramatic finding. To quote the AP article: Fifty percent of soldiers who killed themselves had recently suffered a failed relationship with a spouse, girlfriend or other loved one.
Scary, isn’t it, that, in the face of life or death challenges of the military, or soldiers are dying from the effects of relationship problems? And, by the way, these are not men who have had a history of mental instability (at least not as far as anyone knew).
There are profound implications by these findings, first and foremost is the need for psychological resources for our soldiers. But there are more subtle considerations here that should be addressed. For all the women in the world (many of them have sat across from me in my office) who say, “My man can never express his feeling,” or “He’s just an emotional blank slate,” this startling finding of suicide among these young men tell a different story. Men do have feelings; sometimes they are so strong they can’t be described in words. Sadly, many of these young men expressed their feelings with the trigger of a gun aimed at themselves.
These findings also reinforce a strong belief on my part that men feel incapable of solving relationship problems because they are not taught skills to heal difficulties with their lovers. They can take apart and rebuild a rifle in two minutes, but they stand helpless in the face of an unraveling marriage. I believe men have the capacity to learn relationship skills, and their lives are in danger if they do not. Women need to help foster men’s loving, caring, and committed side, so that they can work with their men to have the lifelong relationship they are seeking.
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